Wondering how to spend your time now it's the closed season? Here are some ideas from David Egan. (Hint: not to be taken entirely seriously.)
And if any of our female readers want to put across the women's view of the closed season, please get in touch by leaving a comment below!
Spend quality time with your second family
It is common knowledge that the modern sporting gentleman refers to his main family as his shooting syndicate, his fishing syndicate or his hunt, or, all three. It is therefore his duty during the closed season to gather his second family around during meal times and over supper to inform them of his remarkable sporting feats over the previous season.
Enjoy a variety of sporting holidays
La Encinilla in Spain, Cordoba in Argentina and Windhoek in Namibia are just a few destinations that would tint the pale British skin and dampen the sporting palette.
Catch up on household jobs
Convert the children’s games room or the spare room into a gentleman’s room. Remove old school photos and replace them with your finest McNabs, Quorn hedge jumps, left & right woodcocks and Dee & Tweed springers.
Remove wallet moths
Presumably, the modern sporting gentleman will have a number of credit cards that were left to gather dust during the previous season. Now is the time to push the plastic whilst at trade stands and marquees of the game fairs and country shows.
Redecorate a room
This is a perfect opportunity to acquire colour matches for summer chino shades. Buy the paint and then order the chinos.
Purchase a new 4×4
There is only so much mud and mileage across the UK that any 4×4 can take. Test drive to your heart’s content and insist on a custom made gunbox because you simply deserve one.
Choose an eminent tailor
Arrange to be tailored for tweed and hunt ball suits so that they are ready for the hectic season ahead. Purchasing them all a size larger for the banquets and dinners is always a sensible option.
Undertake a rigorous fitness plan
Clayshooting, Spey casting, point to point and firm business handshakes at country shows and game fairs are excellent methods of exercise as well as being proven to show great signs of endorphin released pleasures.
Social media shake up
Undertake a Facebook and Twitter clear out by deleting “friends” who have not liked your selfies, field triumphs and red letter days over the course of the season.
Book for the season ahead
There is no guarantee of champagne elevenses and downwind grouse in the next life so embrace the hedonistic approach by treating yourself to those back-to-back days which will naturally also require the highest level of accommodation for the discerning sporting gentleman to unwind in.