A word to the wise – if for whatever reason you or any of your friends come across a Nintendo Wii in the future, avoid it at all costs for the following two reasons:

Whilst the graphics are comparable to something from an Atari ST, the bowling game is addictive and you’ll think nothing of waving the white remote control around the living room and later at the television, then get really annoyed with yourself because you couldn’t achieve the 7/10 split and thus lose to your five-year-old nephew. Still, you’ll be able to throw the remote at the gang of roughs who have gathered outside your window to laugh and point at your inexcusable antics.

The clay shooting game in the Olympic option is about as close to the real thing as covering yourself in spinach, walking into the sea at Skegness wearing a tiara and holding a Cornetto above your head and then shouting ‘I’m the Statue of Liberty!” at the bemused elderly swimmers.

Thank you, but I prefer my sports a little more old fashioned. Now, where’s my Game Boy?

(I’m 3 under on Mario Golf with two holes to play)